it has been forever since i last posted here
my stupid firefox browser just screwed up and all my freaking bookmarks r freaking gone
stupid idiotic stupid stupid firefox!
argh!

i fucking hate my mum
she talked to my ex religious class teacher abt me not eating, abt me not helping outta arnd the house, abt me being bad
she complains how i dont eat
when in fact i fucking eat!!!
i eat so fucking much and she says she needs to let others know that is not because she is starving me or not buying me food
its coz i dont wanna eat
she justs wanna cover her big fucking fat ass incase social service comes and asks how skinny i have become(which is not happening anytime soon because im binging all the time)
this situation actually makes me wanna stop eating altogether, than she would appreaciate the time when i did in fact eat
this way i will control
this way i will fucking win her
all she thinks about is herself n how to make me look bad
thats all she thinks
if only daddy were here... i miss him so much
im sure if it werent for the fact that he is not here right now, i dont think i will be struggling right now
when he was here, i was happy and fat ... as fat as a fucking pig
than he died. n im alone to fucking fight this war with her.. alone
i just wish i was dead...i wanna say sorry to him
i wanna tell him how much i miss him
maybe if i were skinny like arnd 105lbs, than maybe i think he would not have died
i mean i know this makes no fucking sense
arh nvm...im just a fucking fat pig